contents

• Fic
• ART
• CREATORS
• extras
• NSFW

The downloadable version of the zine can be found here.

• Arrow Left

• i'll call your name and bring you back
• acquired taste
• long run
• his white moonlight

The wolf has been following Li Lianhua for some time now, always watching him and his little house on wheels from afar, its stare unnerving and intense. It’s never approached him before.So Li Lianhua is rather surprised when the beast limps up to him. Huli Jing isn’t too impressed with it. She growls and snaps, but the injured wolf doesn’t seem to care, simply giving Li Lianhua a wary look and laying at his feet, trusting him. Such an uncanny creature…. Perhaps this is some fairy in disguise who could help him later. It’s better not to take the chance.Li Lianhua brings the wolf some food and water, and then he gets to work patching it up. It only snaps at him once, when Li Lianhua touches a particularly tender spot, but otherwise it’s as docile as a housecat, letting him do as he pleases.“What an interesting wolf,” Li Lianhua mutters, tying off a bandage, “I wonder where you came from.”In answer, the huge wolf picks up its head and points its snout toward the east.“Ah, you can understand me? You certainly are a very interesting wolf. Well, you should rest here until you’re healed up. Don’t worry, I’ll feed you. I just hope you don’t eat too much, though with the size of you…”The wolf—all black save for a thin white patch on its chest—isn’t very helpful while it recovers, but it isn’t a terrible companion. Even Huli Jing seems to be coming around to it, trying to play. Li Lianhua only has to set a few more traps for birds and small game to feed it, thankfully.On the night of the new moon, Li Lianhua is returning to his home on wheels when he sees a lantern lit inside, one he certainly hadn’t lit before he left that morning. He approaches cautiously, readying himself for a fight with whoever is there, but nothing could have prepared him for seeing exactly who it was in his home.“Di— Di Feisheng?”The man looks to him, and Li Lianhua must be imagining the hint of sadness he sees in his dark eyes. More than that, he must be imagining the whole man! Di Feisheng was cast into the East Sea with him and died more than a year ago, died along with Li Xiangyi. How could he be so casually sitting in Li Lianhua’s home?But when Li Lianhua looks closer, he sees healing wounds on Di Feisheng that match the ones on the wolf, which must mean—“You’re the wolf, the one I took in.”“Yes.”His voice is rough from disuse. Li Lianhua cautiously enters the wagon, asking, “How long have you been a wolf?”“Since our battle at the East Sea, Li Xiangyi.”“My name is Li Lianhua, you’re mistaken—”“You are Li Xiangyi, no matter what you call yourself now. I would know.”Despite their enmity, there are few people who know Li Xiangyi as well as Di Feisheng, between their fights and arguments and their tenuous treaty that came crashing down. He doesn’t understand why Li Xiangyi is lying about who he is, but he can’t easily lie to Di Feisheng.Giving in, Li Lianhua says, “Alright then. Yes, I’m Li Xiangyi. How did you become a wolf, Di-mengzhu?”“I don’t know. I woke up on the shore with a figure standing over me, and the figure told me I was being transformed into a wolf and I would only be human again during the night of the new moon. So, tonight I’m human, and in the morning, I’ll be a wolf again.”“Did this figure tell you how to break your curse?”“No, and I haven’t been able to locate anyone who has an answer.”Li Lianhua has one, but he isn’t sure Di Feisheng will like it. It was long written in old tales that a werewolf can only be cured when they are truly loved and trusted by another person and that person calls their name. That seems unlikely to happen as Di Feisheng is one of the most notorious figures in the jianghu.“Well, as long as the answer isn’t anything like the sun rising in the west and setting in the east, we’ll find a way,” Li Lianhua chooses to say, “Why don’t you stay with me in the meantime? Aside from the fact that we’re the only ones who know the other is alive, who else would take in a big scary wolf like you? I would only ask for one thing in return— well, maybe two.”“What?”“I— I still haven’t found my shixiong’s body. If you stay here, then you must help me try to find him so I can bury him.”“Fine. I’m also curious to know where he ended up.”“What do you mean by that?” Li Lianhua asks, “You mean you don’t know?”“I don’t. Let me tell you what I know…”Di Feisheng explains that Li Lianhua—Li Xiangyi—coming to attack him over the death of his shixiong, Shan Gudao, was a surprise. Though Li Xiangyi was told Di Feisheng had ordered the attack that killed Shan Gudao, Di Feisheng tells him honestly that he knew nothing of it, saying, “I may be a villain, and I may seek fights, and I may be prideful, but I am honest, and I did not break our treaty, Li-menzhu. The only one I ever wanted to fight was you. You have my word on that.”Li Lianhua takes a moment to think. Yes, Di Feisheng wanted to fight him, but he believes Di Feisheng did not necessarily want to kill him. The man simply wanted to be the best in the world. Neither of them are in fighting shape now, anyway, so the threat of that is low. Just to be sure, Li Lianhua explains, “Just so you know, that was our last fight. I… I was poisoned before our fight, and I barely lived. Even now, my Yangzhouman barely keeps the poison at bay.”“Is there no cure for your poison?”“Di-mengzhu, I’m sure you know there’s no cure for bicha poison.”“Who poisoned you? Who did it?” Di Feisheng demands.“Perhaps that’s another mystery we can solve,” Li Lianhua says, though he already knows the answer, “Besides, I know you, and if you find out who it is, you’ll want to storm off and fight them and you’re in no condition for that right now.”“It wasn’t on my orders,” Di Feisheng tells him firmly, “You have my word.”“I know. You’re all about a fair fight.”“What was the second thing?”“Hm?”“You said in return for my staying here, there were two things I could do for you. First is helping you solve these mysteries. What’s the second thing?”“Oh, yes, the second thing is easy,” Li Lianhua says with a smirk, “You can keep me warm in winter.”It’s funny to see how Di Feisheng’s eyes go big and then narrow almost immediately, a bit of color rising to his cheeks. Unable to leave it alone, Li Lianhua teases, “Only as a wolf, of course. Surely you know how fluffy you are as a wolf. You could easily keep both me and Huli Jing warm!”The color in his cheeks deepens slightly, and Di Feisheng just mutters, “Shut up.”They share dinner, both of them presumably eating with another human for the first time in a long while, and chat a little bit. Li Lianhua steers away from the heavier topics that pertain to them, explaining his life as the humble Li Lianhua now rather than the famed Li Xiangyi, and Di Feisheng speaks sparingly as his time as a wolf isn’t particularly interesting.Even so, when Li Lianhua declares he’s going to bed, Di Feisheng looks hurt, no matter how hard he tries to hide it. He decides to take a chance and mention it, saying, “Ah, Di-mengzhu, were you hoping I could stay up and chat all night?”Di Feisheng says, “No,” but his expression tells another story: his eyes cast down to the floor, slight color in his cheeks, his fingers not-quite fidgeting in his lap.With a soft sigh, Li Lianhua tells him, “I’m sorry, Di-mengzhu. If I had known that I would have had a guest tonight, I would have been more prepared to stay up talking. I promise that during the next new moon, I’ll be ready to talk with you all through the night. Alright?”“Alright. In the morning, I’ll be a wolf again.”“I remember. When you’re a wolf, you still understand me, don’t you? You understand everything as if you were human?”“Yes, I can understand everything, I just have a limited way to respond.”“I’ll think of something so it’s easier to communicate when you’re a wolf… and we can work on finding a way to break the curse.”Di Feisheng simply nods, and Li Lianhua suggests, “Why don’t you meditate while I’m asleep? It probably won’t break your curse, but it won’t hurt anything either.”“I’ll do that then.”Li Lianhua gives him a nod, then turns to get into his bed. He almost doesn’t hear the quiet, “Thank you,” though hear it he does. It puts a small smile on his face as he falls asleep. Sure enough, when he wakes, the large black wolf is sleeping on the floor.Since he was so soundly asleep, he didn't see Di Feisheng watching over him all night..Their life becomes a simple one, waiting for the night of the new moon. Li Lianhua settles on calling Di Feisheng ‘Da-Fei’ when he’s in wolf form. It seems a fitting name, and Di Feisheng doesn’t seem to have anything against it. Di Feisheng has also come around to calling Li Xiangyi ‘Li Lianhua’, more understanding of his motivation for doing so.When the night of the new moon rolls around, they spend the whole night talking and drinking. Such nights do start with them talking business, discussing any leads that have come up in their search for Shan Gudao’s body. There usually aren’t many, as the people with any knowledge from Di Feisheng’s Jinyuan Alliance have all scattered or ended up imprisoned by Baichuan Court.“I’ll say this, though,” Li Lianhua says on one such night a few years into their partnership, “the Jinyuan Alliance seems to think you’re still alive, just missing. I ran into that bodyguard of yours last week… Wu Yan, I think his name was? He didn’t recognize me.”“We should speak to him on the next new moon. Wu Yan would be an asset to our efforts. I’ll leave you a letter for him and a way to get in touch.”“Are you certain?”“Yes. Wu Yan’s loyalty lies with me, not the Jinyuan Alliance. We’ll be able to trust him.”Li Lianhua can’t explain the spike of jealousy he feels upon hearing that, and he chooses not to think too deeply about it, not even when it returns as he watches Di Feisheng write the letter to his subordinate. Di Feisheng also fishes a small gold whistle from his robes, leaving it with the letter.“If you use that whistle, Wu Yan will come.”“Why not call for him now? Would he not come now?”Di Feisheng knows that he would. Wu Yan would come whenever he called, would come to wherever he is, but then Wu Yan would try to get him to come back, and Di Feisheng can’t do that until he fixes this curse. The letter will be better for Wu Yan to understand.“He would… but I would prefer to do it this way. I think it would be easier.”Li Lianhua can’t think how it would be easier than simply talking, but he doesn’t argue. He simply retrieves the bottle of wine he’d purchased in town that day, pouring cups for both of them. The rest of their night is filled with more idle chatting, but Li Lianhua can’t shake that odd feeling of jealousy.It worsens two weeks later, when he finally does call Wu Yan, bringing him to Lotus Tower and handing him the letter. He watches him read it, sees the way his hands shake finely and his eyes grow wet and his breath quickens, sees how devoted the young man is to his master.“I’ll do what I can, Li-menzhu, and I will keep your identity a secret, have no fear.”Wu Yan turns next to the wolf form of his master, kneeling and saluting him before leaving. Da-Fei watches him intently until he disappears, then lays down on the floor, a soft whine leaving his throat. He wishes it were different, that he were human all the time and could go back with Wu Yan… but a part of him is glad to stay with Li Lianhua. He’s come to enjoy the carefree life they live in Lotus Tower.The wolf turns to look at Li Lianhua, before standing and coming to lay at his feet. Affection blossoms warm in his chest, and Li Lianhua knows he’s got a problem. He simply smiles at the beast and returns to his cooking..Nearly six years into their partnership, and not much has changed. The world believes Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng are dead, all except for the Jinyuan Alliance and a select few of Li Xiangyi’s old associates. Wu Yan is still playing double agent for them, seeking out as much information as he can without giving himself away. Di Feisheng is still a werewolf, only human on the night of the new moon.This night, however, Li Lianhua is unwell. The bicha poison has been plaguing him worse than usual for the last few days, and he spends two whole days in bed, shivering and sweating and miserable. His only comfort are his two furry companions, Huli Jing and Da-Fei, both doing their best to keep him warm. He can feel it when Da-Fei changes to Di Feisheng, and he knows the change is complete when he hears the man swear and shuffle about. He feels it when Di Feisheng leaves the bed and goes to the small kitchen area, doing his best to make something that Li Lianhua can eat.He does get Li Lianhua to drink some hot tea, though it does little to stop the shivering. As for Di Feisheng, he’s more worried about Li Lianhua now than he ever has been. He’s seen Li Lianhua ill because of the poison before, but he’s never been this bad. It’s usually a day or two of him feeling poorly and taking things easy, but this is much worse. Li Lianhua hasn’t even been able to get out of bed. Di Feisheng can cook for him now (as far as he is capable of cooking broth and other simple things), but once Di Feisheng is Da-Fei again, Li Lianhua may not be able to take care of himself for a few days.Di Feisheng makes the decision to move Li Lianhua elsewhere. He collects a few things before scooping Li Lianhua into his arms and heading toward the nearest town, which is thankfully close by, taking him to an inn. The innkeeper looks a little wary of having a man who looks so sick staying there, but Di Feisheng assures him, “If you follow my instructions to the letter, you’ll be well-compensated by my colleague.”“Of course, sir, whatever you need, you just tell me and I’ll make sure it happens.”“My friend is ill, and I am not able to stay and care for him. I want to make sure he’s taken care of until he’s well. Three meals a day will be delivered to his room. There will be two dogs in the room staying with him as his companions. I want food provided for them as well. Once he’s well, my colleague will come and provide your compensation.”“If that is your wish, it will be done.”They’re led to the inn’s “best” room, which isn’t much, but it’s better than having Li Lianhua starve to death in Lotus Tower. Di Feisheng gets Li Lianhua settled before calling Wu Yan and explaining the situation. With that completed, it’s past midnight, and Di Feisheng knows his human time is limited.He’s filled with a strange, restless energy, one he hasn’t really experienced before. He wants to care for Li Lianhua, wants to make sure he’s well, but he isn’t exactly sure how to do so. Taking care of others is a foreign experience for him when most of his life was focused on his own survival. It takes a lot of thought for him to come up with a gesture of care that feels appropriate and actually helpful.After helping Li Lianhua drink some warm wine, he offers, “Li Lianhua, your hair is a mess. You should let me comb it before it becomes one big mat.”The look Li Lianhua gives him is a curious one, his eyebrows slightly raised.“Ah, Lao Di—” a newer nickname that Li Lianhua started using last year— “do you really think it’s that bad?”“You haven’t combed it in a few days. It’s bad.”As if to check Di Feisheng’s veracity, he grabs some of his hair to examine it, and he agrees with Di Feisheng’s assessment.“Mn, it really is rather shabby. Alright, go ahead and comb, Lao Di, just be gentle. My whole body hurts.”Gentle… Di Feisheng will do his best. He’d grabbed some of Li Lianhua’s things on the way out the door, and that thankfully included his hair oil. A little will help the comb work its way through the knotted hair. Di Feisheng has only ever combed his own hair, and he knows this is a somewhat intimate act, which only increases his nervousness. Nervous! Imagine the notorious Di Feisheng being so nervous over such a simple thing!

Li Lianhua sighs softly as he feels the comb start to carefully pull through his hair, Di Feisheng starting at the ends and working his way up until the comb is easily passing from the crown of Li Lianhua’s head to the ends of his hair. Not once does he feel so much as a tug on his scalp. There’s a twisting in his chest at the knowledge that Di Feisheng is so careful with him… with him and no one else.The twisting turns to warmth as he thinks of all Di Feisheng has done for him: bringing him to an inn, making sure he’ll be fed until he’s well, promising to pay for it (or at least to have the Jinyuan Alliance pay for it). Who would have thought the fearsome Di Feisheng capable of such care?He turns to look at Di Feisheng, their eyes meeting. The candlelight softens his features, making him look younger and gentler, his eyelashes casting small shadows on his cheeks. Li Lianhua swallows hard, and he’s suddenly eighteen again, seeing the man for the first time. There’s so much he wants to say to Di Feisheng, so much.“A-Fei,” he starts boldly, loses his courage, finishes, “I’m tired.”Di Feisheng blinks, only letting his disappointment show for a moment before masking it.“Then you should sleep. Da-Fei will be here in the morning. Call for Wu Yan when you’re feeling ready to leave the inn. I gave him orders to pay for your stay when you’re through.”And then with that same newfound gentleness, Di Feisheng helps Li Lianhua lay down and covers him with the blankets, swallowing his own disappointment. He’d thought Li Xiangyi was beautiful since the first moment he’d seen him: his mischievous grin and bold confidence and warm eyes. It’s been difficult to reconcile the more meek and quiet Li Lianhua with the bold man he’d been as Li Xiangyi, but Di Feisheng has come to admire him… more than admire him.Slowly, he sits beside Li Lianhua on the bed, watching him as he sleeps. His fingers twitch in his lap, as he’s seized with the strange urge to touch the man, to stroke his hair and caress his cheek. Never before has he felt such a tender urge, and it’s only with all his willpower that he manages to resist it. He simply thinks about the longing way Li Lianhua looked at him—how he so softly called him ‘A-Fei’—and watches over him as he sleeps..Time passes, about a year going by with neither of them addressing that night in the inn and what had or hadn’t happened. Li Lianhua is rather ashamed of his cowardice in not just telling Di Feisheng how he feels, but he is also well aware that the bicha poison is slowly killing him. Why reveal his feelings when he’ll simply leave Di Feisheng behind?For Di Feisheng’s part, he hasn’t said anything because why would Li Lianhua love him when he’d tried to kill him before? And besides, he lives as a beast for most of his life. How could Li Lianhua love him when he’s a beast?It’s a new moon night in summer, and the two of them are up on the roof of Lotus Tower, sharing wine and gazing up at the stars. Without the bright moon, the stars stand out all the clearer, and Di Feisheng listens as Li Lianhua points out constellations and tells their stories. It was not the sort of thing Di Feisheng had been educated on at Di Fortress, and so he listens attentively, his eyes following Li Lianhua’s hand, his ears tuned to his voice.Li Lianhua enjoys the attention, the way Di Feisheng hangs on his every word. They pass the wine back and forth, both of them savoring the taste of the wine and the knowledge that their lips are indirectly touching, not that the other knows. Both feel pleasantly warm and contented, their bodies pressed together despite the warm summer night, taking comfort from the other’s presence.Li Lianhua reaches for the wine, still in Di Feisheng’s hand, their fingers brushing as he takes it and drinks. Di Feisheng watches as rivulets of wine roll down Li Lianhua’s chin, and he’s seized with the urge to lap it up, to kiss, to lick, to prove to Li Lianhua that he doesn’t want to fight him anymore, that he only wants to treat him tenderly from now on.“A-Fei, you’re staring at me so intently,” Li Lianhua teases lightly, “Is it my messy drinking? I’m afraid it will only get worse as the night goes on and we keep drinking.”“It is that… but it also isn’t. I simply enjoy watching you.”“Don’t you get enough of that as a wolf? I’m used to you watching me then.”The words slip out before Di Feisheng can stop them, the wine having loosened his tongue: “I could never tire of watching you, Li Lianhua.”If the words surprised Di Feisheng, then they certainly surprise Li Lianhua. The wine has loosened his tongue as well, and so instead of some pithy remark, he says quietly, “Tell me more, A-Fei.”Di Feisheng could brush him off, could just reply, ‘Why would I tell you anything?’ and they could keep drinking in relative silence. He almost does. This moment, though… The two of them on top of Lotus Tower, with the stars and the wine… He can’t help but be honest—dreadfully, vulnerably honest.“I like watching you putter around this Lotus Tower of yours,” he says, surprised at how soft his voice sounds, “tending to your plants and to the horses. I like watching you cook, no matter how bad it tastes when you’re done. I like watching you talk with others, the easy way you’re able to become whatever they need. I like— I like watching you sleep, and I like to watch you wake. Even if you aren’t dancing with a sword and ribbon anymore, I could watch you for hours.”“You already do.”Li Lianhua feels warm and short of breath. Surely it’s just the wine getting to him. Surely…“I could watch you forever.”“Forever… My forever is so short with this bicha poison. How much longer will I be around?”“I don’t know. Bicha poison… it should have killed you instantly. You— Who knows how long the great Li Xiangyi can hold on?”“Not even I know.”Li Lianhua realizes how close they’ve gotten, curling into one another like a flower to the sun, close enough to... close enough…“Li Lianhua, I— I want—”“We shouldn’t. I could die tomorrow, and then you’d be all alone—”“I’ve been alone. I could handle it,” Di Feisheng lies easily, “Please… if you died tomorrow, would you die with regrets?”“Who wouldn’t?”“Then die with one less. Li Lianhua—”Li Lianhua surges forward, pressing his lips to Di Feisheng’s, unable to spend one moment longer without kissing him. Di Feisheng gasps, his arms immediately wrapping around Li Lianhua, holding him in place. He can’t let him get away, not now that he has him. Their lips part at the same time, both of them breathing heavily, overcome with desire. The kiss is desperate at first—all passion and tongues and nipping teeth and groping hands. Years of companionship and intimacy and longing pour from their hearts and into the kiss, until the fire burns out and the kiss turns into something slow and sweet.Maybe this will be enough. Li Lianhua hopes that maybe this will be enough to break Di Feisheng’s curse, maybe now he loves Di Feisheng enough to keep him human even as the sun rises. He doesn’t say this. He still hasn’t told Di Feisheng what could break his curse, even after all these years. So he simply waits, and he hopes.And when Di Feisheng once again becomes a wolf as the sun rises, it feels worse than any time before. Will Li Lianhua’s love ever be enough to save those he loves?.Months pass. Li Lianhua is still alive, still seeking answers for his shixiong’s death. Di Feisheng is still a wolf, still seeking a way to break the curse. Eventually, guilt eats at Li Lianhua enough that he does break down and tell Di Feisheng what he knows about the curse afflicting him.“I just don’t know why the curse hasn’t broken yet,” Li Lianhua says sadly, “I don’t… I don’t know how I could love you more.”Neither does Di Feisheng. Their monthly routine is no different than it was before their kiss under the stars, except that they continue to kiss (and more) when Di Feisheng gains his human form.“There must be something we’re missing,” Di Feisheng says, taking Li Lianhua’s hand and twining their fingers, “We’re just missing something.”‘Or else I would be cured,’ remains unsaid.He hasn’t been focused on a cure in a while. When he was initially changed, he wanted one, and now that he and Li Lianhua are lovers he wants to be human all the time, but for a long time in between, he didn’t mind it. Now, though…“We’re near Pudu Temple, where a good friend of mine lives. He’s wise, and he’ll surely know what we need to do to break your curse. We’ll be able to go there this week.”They spend the rest of their night in bed, and in the morning they start on their way to Pudu Temple, Li Lianhua guiding the horses in their slow travel, Da-Fei trotting alongside or sitting next to him. The horses, thankfully, are no longer skittish around him, which makes traveling much easier.When night begins to fall, Da-Fei leaps off the carriage and heads into the woods, seeking dinner for himself and Li Lianhua and Huli Jing. Li Lianhua trails after him as quietly as he can. They’re closer to a large town now, and there could be someone—A loud yelp sounds through the woods, high and sharp, followed by a snarl and snapping teeth. Li Lianhua breaks into a run, terrified, and when he finally gets to Da-Fei, A-Fei, Di Feisheng, the wolf has an arrow embedded in his shoulder. In the distance, Li Lianhua sees a hunter ready to shoot again, bow drawn.Li Lianhua cries out, “No! A-Fei!” and speeds up, his heart racing as the arrow is loosed. He doesn’t know how he manages to get there in time to knock it away, but he does, and the hunter disappears into the woods.Li Lianhua doesn’t chase him. He turns his full attention to Da-Fei, already thinking of how he’ll need to remove the arrow and heal him. He might need to use some of his Yangzhouman. Can he even use it on a wolf? He supposes he could. It shouldn’t be so different—“Li Lianhua.”Before him on the ground is not Da-Fei the big black wolf. It’s Di Feisheng, a very human Di Feisheng.“A-Fei?”Di Feisheng can only nod. His shoulder burns and stings, the arrow still stuck in him, but it’s his human shoulder, at least. He watches as Li Lianhua slowly comes to him, dropping to his knees by his side, tears rolling down his cheeks. Di Feisheng wants to wipe them away, tries to, hisses at the pain in his shoulder.“Don’t cry,” he murmurs, lifting his uninjured arm to brush away those tears, “Li Lianhua, don’t cry. You saved me.”Li Lianhua’s emotions overwhelm him, blocking his throat. His tears are hot, and despite Di Feisheng’s best attempts, they keep coming. Human. He’s human again.“The curse is broken,” he finally chokes out, “A-Fei—”He can’t help but kiss him. Soon, they’ll have to return to Lotus Tower. Li Lianhua will have to remove the arrow and help him heal… but they can spare a moment to kiss under the thin crescent moon.

Di Feisheng smelled the stink of dead things even before he sensed the vampire's presence.That in itself was odd. Even though they were themselves dead things, vampires had a keener sense of smell and the repulsive stench of rotten meat affected them more than it did humans. This meant that vampires were often eager to abandon their victims even before the body had a chance to grow cold. The old tales and superstitions of vampires lurking in graveyards and morgues, dressed in the tattered remnants of the clothes that they had been buried in, were mostly untrue, or mixed up with jiangshi that fed on the lifeforce of the living, which were a different thing entirely.While Di Feisheng did put those mindless undead to rest if they crossed his path, his usual quarries were far from mindless. They were cunning, often wealthy from hoarding precious things over the centuries that they had been around, and used their riches to buy influence over those in power. In the past, there had been vampire clans that upheld strict rules of conduct amongst other vampires and maintained an age-old hierarchy of power, where no disobedience or rebellion was tolerated, and new vampires were carefully selected and groomed from a young age. But the fall of the Ming Dynasty and the subsequent rise and fall of the Qing Dynasty had also seen an upheaval in the hierarchies of the undead. The wars had taken its toll on vampires and humans alike, decimating their numbers and scattering the clans.The old ones who survived kept to themselves now, licking their wounds and biding their time. They were too smart to leave a trail. But some younger vampires wanted to return to the old ways and had attempted to start new clans, and sought to grow their strength by increasing their numbers rapidly — indiscriminately turning humans, whether or not they agreed to it or even understood what was happening to them, which sometimes drove them insane.Unfortunately for them, making new vampires wasn't an easy process, since vampires were dead things and could not produce children. The transformation required letting the vampire drain almost all of the victim's blood, and then the vampire would then have to feed their own blood to the victim, until their veins were filled again, allowing the victim to be reborn as a monster. Making too many fledglings too quickly took a toll on the vampire, and produced increasingly weak fledglings that possessed only a fraction of the strength and speed of a vampire. Di Feisheng had come across a couple of these new feral fledgling vampires in Shanghai over the last week, so he assumed that he had just found the trail of another one.It was still drizzling after a whole day of rain, but the stench was fresh and easy to track. To his surprise, when he followed his nose to where the stench was the worst, he only found the remains of what had probably once been a recently-turned vampire abandoned in a back alley, drained of blood. Unlike the remains of older vampires, the bodies of recently-turned vampires did not turn to dust when they were killed, since the vampire blood had not managed to truly saturate and transform every cell of the body. When they died, their bodies began to deteriorate rapidly. Di Feisheng gingerly prodded the mess of melting flesh and hair and found what was barely recognisable as puncture holes in the neck. It confirmed his guess that this was the work of another vampire, except that it made no sense for a vampire to drink from another vampire.Vampires needed the blood of the living to survive, and other vampires were not properly alive. A vampire feeding on the blood of other vampires would only manage to keep themselves from withering into a dried-out corpse, but it would make them sick and the hunger for real living blood would gnaw away at them, taking over every waking thought. Di Feisheng suspected that the attacker was newly-turned as well, and hadn't managed to get over their squeamishness of hunting the living. But their self-control would snap eventually, and when that happened, they would kill and feed on anyone who crossed their path, even former loved ones.Even if they were still trying not to hurt anyone now, it was inevitable that they would kill, because it was in their vampire nature to feed on the living. And Di Feisheng had made it his business to hunt down every single vampire in existence, or die trying.The dead vampire had only just started decomposing; the surviving vampire couldn't have gone far, probably slowed down by the amount of dead blood they had just drank. Besides, new vampires hadn't learnt how to use their supernatural speed and agility to their advantage yet, and would still be moving like a normal clumsy human. But even though Di Feisheng picked up the smell of blood quickly enough, this vampire moved with an efficiency and strategy that surprised him.If they had been dealing with a human hunter, they might have managed to get away. Unfortunately for them, Di Feisheng wasn't human either.Eventually, he pursued his quarry to a dance hall. The vampire must have thought that it would be easier to lose Di Feisheng in a crowd, and the garish-coloured lights would hide his pale complexion. Even at this late hour, the small space was packed with people drinking and dancing, all dressed to the nines, but Di Feisheng caught a glimpse of a man in dull grey clothes weaving through the patrons. But when he caught a glimpse of the vampire's side profile, Di Feisheng froze for a moment.It couldn't be him. Li Xiangyi was dead — properly, honestly dead — or at least, that was what the Sigu Association had announced to the world ten months ago. There had been a grand funeral as well, as befitting one of the most prolific vampire hunters that had ever lived, and many had mourned the loss of Li Xiangyi when he hadn't even reached his prime, although many vampire hunters died young.But perhaps it all made perfect sense if Li Xiangyi had been turned instead of killed. Di Feisheng pushed his way across the dance floor after his quarry, ignoring the dirty looks and complaints from the dancers, and slipped through a door that led to the backrooms of the dance hall. There was a stairwell leading to the upper levels of the building, and the faintest sounds of movement above him. But Di Feisheng went out of the backdoor into the dark back alley instead, since scaling the wall directly was faster than taking the stairs, and pulled himself up on the ledge of the roof just as the vampire emerged from the door. Perhaps the vampire had intended to escape by jumping from roof to roof, which would be well within his superhuman abilities, but when he came face to face with Di Feisheng, he sighed and didn't attempt to run away again."Just my luck running into you, Di Feisheng. You were always very persistent," Li Xiangyi muttered, slumping against the wall in exhaustion.The moon was barely a sliver in the sky, but it was enough light for Di Feisheng to see by. He took in the unnatural paleness and smoothness of Li Xiangyi's skin, the smear of blood in the corner of his mouth being the only spot of colour on his face, and the hollow shame and despair in the pupils of Li Xiangyi's now red irises, and Di Feisheng's expression became grim. They must have thought it was the best revenge — turning the vampire hunter into what he had once detested the most."Who did this to you?" Di Feisheng demanded."I made the mistake of trusting someone who I thought was a friend, and fell into their trap," Li Xiangyi said quietly. "It was Jiao Liqiao."Di Feisheng scowled. Unfortunately, he was all too familiar with her. "And you've been feeding on other vampires all this while?"Vampire activity had not risen to untenable levels despite Li Xiangyi's "death", but there were many possible reasons for that, and Di Feisheng had not found it that surprising. Even though Shanghai was small, it was a busy port town, messy and complicated. Di Feisheng did not bother himself with human business if he could, especially since there was another war brewing on the horizon. Most of the vampire hunters in Shanghai were trained by the Sigu Association, and even though Li Xiangyi had been a more effective hunter than all of them put together, the death of their leader had made Sigu's hunters more zealous. There were also plenty of rogue hunters, just passing through. Besides, despite Li Xiangyi's former prowess as a hunter, becoming a vampire seemed to have weakened him — considering Di Feisheng had been able to catch up to him this time.Li Xiangyi flashed him a wan smile. "You probably think that I should have just walked into the sunlight and put an end to my miserable existence when I was turned. And I promise you that I will do that, once I have finished what I need to do."Even though Di Feisheng had sworn to kill every vampire that had the misfortune of meeting him, the thought of letting Li Xiangyi walk into the sun didn't sit well with him. Di Feisheng frowned at Li Xiangyi. "You know that drinking vampire blood is not a solution, and you will lose control eventually.""They said my brother is still alive," Li Xiangyi blurted out.Everyone knew that Li Xiangyi's adopted brother had been snatched by one of the vampire clans a year ago. Some vampire clans took great delight in bringing their victims back to their lairs and feeding on them in small amounts over a period of months or even years, but few people lived long under such constant torment. When they got bored of toying with their captives, they usually turned them into vampires, even though they had already been driven insane, and let them loose on the human population as entertainment until hunters finally put them out of their misery. Di Feisheng's mother had been captured and tormented by the vampire clans in the same way, and turned even though she was heavily pregnant, and that was why he had turned out like this."Even if he's still alive, he's worse than dead. You can't save him," Di Feisheng warned him."I know. But I just can't leave him there," Li Xiangyi said.One look at the determination in his eyes, and Di Feisheng knew there was no dissuading Li Xiangyi. Besides, Di Feisheng understood Li Xiangyi's motivations perfectly. It might be a fool's errand, but this was personal. Even if Li Xiangyi could return to Sigu Association in this state to ask his former friends for help, and even if he hadn't already been betrayed by them, no human hunters who had tried to get into the stronghold of a clan had succeeded — but perhaps a vampire and a half-vampire could, especially when they had always worked together so well."Have you figured out which clan has him?" Di Feisheng asked."Are you offering to help me? I thought you were going to insist on cutting off my head," Li Xiangyi said with a smile."When the rest of Sigu wanted to hunt me down and cut my head off, you stopped them," Di Feisheng replied simply."Not like they would have been able to catch you," Li Xiangyi replied, laughing softly. But as he got to his feet, he stumbled and would have fallen right off the edge of the roof if Di Feisheng hadn't grabbed his arm."You're not going to be any use in this state. You need to feed," Di Feisheng said, but Li Xiangyi immediately flinched away from him."I've just fed. That's how you found me," Li Xiangyi replied, trying to keep his tone light."On the blood of the living, not the dead," Di Feisheng said firmly."I'm not feeding on a human," Li Xiangyi said, voice suddenly sharp."I'm not human. And I owe you," Di Feisheng replied."No, you don't. I thought I made that clear before I let you bite me that time," Li Xiangyi retorted."I don't like to owe people favors," Di Feisheng replied flatly, yanking open the buttons of his collar unceremoniously.Li Xiangyi made a sound between a growl and a whine, but even though he started backing away, his gaze was fixed on Di Feisheng's jugular and his fangs were showing. Di Feisheng took a step forward and grabbed Li Xiangyi's wrist, pulling him towards him, but he barely put up a struggle."Di Feisheng, you—!""You need it. Drink," Di Feisheng said as he tilted his head, exposing his neck to Li Xiangyi.He had promised himself that he would never allow someone to feed on him again, not after he had massacred the entire Di clan and the vampire who had technically been his sire, but he steeled himself and nicked himself with a fingernail, just enough to break the skin and draw blood.Di Feisheng heard Li Xiangyi inhale sharply; then he moved so fast that Di Feisheng couldn't have pushed him away in time even if he wanted to. The next thing he knew, Li Xiangyi had seized his shoulders and he felt the pain-bright sting of Li Xiangyi's fangs sinking into his neck. The pain faded quickly into a dull ache, but all other sensations seemed suddenly heightened; he could feel Li Xiangyi's soft lips on his skin, Li Xiangyi's fingertips digging into his arm in a way that would surely leave bruises, and the pull in his veins as Li Xiangyi drank from him. But most of all, he could feel their heartbeats falling in sync with each other, two hearts beating as one.Di Feisheng used to hate that feeling. Since he had been old enough to survive being fed on, his sire had drunk from him against his will, believing that his blood was special. Because he was part human, he did not usually need to feed on living blood unless he was suffering from severe injury and close to death. His one exception had been Li Xiangyi, who had offered him his blood without hesitation when he had been gravely injured by Jiao Liqiao. Drinking from Li Xiangyi had been a revelation, but confusing — making him wonder if he had been so close to death that his vampire side had gained dominance, making him crave another taste of blood. He had been torn between avoiding Li Xiangyi at all costs and physically needing to see him again, to try and figure out what that feeling had been, and it was only now that Di Feisheng thought he had the answer — and that was that they had both offered their blood to each other freely, knowing full well that they were putting themselves at each other's mercy.Di Feisheng could feel the rest of his body reacting to the thrill of the surrender, something in him stirring that made the pain more like pleasure, his head starting to spin a little from the loss of blood, but before he could truly lose himself in the experience, Li Xiangyi broke away from him with a gasp."Lao Di..." Li Xiangyi mumbled before falling backwards, and Di Feisheng just managed to catch him before he hit his head.Di Feisheng's brows furrowed in confusion as he shook him lightly. "Xiangyi?"He had never had a vampire faint after drinking from him. Technically, Li Xiangyi no longer needed to breathe, but he hadn't forgotten decades of habit yet, and even though he was out cold, his breathing was even. Perhaps the problem was that Li Xiangyi had starved himself for too long, and had been overwhelmed by the glut of blood.But it was starting to rain again, and they had tarried out here in the open for long enough — there were other hunters out tonight, vampire and human alike. So Di Feisheng picked Li Xiangyi up in his arms, and made a running leap to the next building, and then the next. They would figure out what to do when Li Xiangyi woke up, but for now, Di Feisheng would keep him safe.

It is almost fall and Li Xiangyi wants to see fireflies.“I didn’t see any this entire summer,” he says.Fang Duobing looks at him with the long-banked resentment of someone who has been on laundry duty for the past month, and now this.“I brought you an entire jar of them,” he says. “Just before midsummer.”“Did you really?”“You said, and I quote, ‘it looks as though I have the moon at hand,’ you mendacious toad,” he says, sourly stabbing a crabapple with one chopstick. They were to serve as dessert, or, if you were Fang Duobing and could barely stomach the egg and fish thing Li Xiangyi had attempted, the main meal.“Did I now?” Li Xiangyi says, face creasing in melodramatic confusion as he appears to search his memory. He’d grow a beard to stroke if he could, but the best he can do is patchy five-o-clock shadow. It’s deeply unattractive; he quits shaving when he thinks one of them has slighted him and deserves mild punishment.“Yes!”“I don’t recall that,” Di Feisheng says, casting his lot.“You!” Fang Duobing points the entire fruit at him. Di Feisheng gives him a look that used to make him quiver but now just makes him raise his eyebrows and bug his eyes even more.“Him,” Li Xiangyi agrees. “Lao Di would never lie to me.”“Come with me,” Di Feisheng says.“I'm busy,” Li Xiangyi says, without opening his eyes. He is sunning himself on the back porch, waving a cattail with such languid motions that Hulijing doesn't even bother to feign interest. Seeing him like this still makes something settle in Di Feisheng’s chest. He has nothing to compare this feeling to; hard-pressed, even many years gone, he will not be able to name it with any confidence.“You are not.”“Take Xiaobao. He’d love to escape his back-breaking labor.”Said back-breaking labor is tossing peanuts into the air and catching them with his mouth on the second floor of their house. They’re going to be wearing the same zhongyi for another few days, it seems.“It requires you, not Fang Duobing.”“A’Fei, if you believe I will allow you to drop me from a cliff again to test my reflexes–”Di Feisheng stiffens, and ends this line of conversation abruptly.“I am not going to try and make you train.”“Hmm.”“I promise.”Hulijing allows the cattail to be thoughtfully bounced on her nose.“Is it a case?”“No.”“Is it errands? We’re low on lard.”“No.”Li Xiangyi is intrigued despite himself. He opens his eyes and rubs his fingers together.“I can’t imagine what it might be,” he says, after a moment of silence, apparently having consulted his vast, irritating imagination. “Unless—Lao Di, did you father a child these years past? Are we going to its naming day ceremony to bless her with riches?”“No.”“Oh, I see. We’re going to curse her instead.”Di Feisheng resists the urge to ask why Li Xiangyi assumes he would have a girl child, and maintains the course.“Would a falsehood hold your interest?”“You can't just tell me you're going to deceive me. Where's the fun?”Di Feisheng settles on a half truth.“I need you to hold my sword,” he says. “It’s damp and I don’t want to risk rust.”“Reduced to your page,” Li Xiangyi says, face sharpening into a mean-tinted smile. “What would my younger self say?”“Nothing. He’d try and stab me,” Di Feisheng says, and holds out his arm.Li Xiangyi has lost his lightness skill. There are signs that soon he will not be able to walk without assistance, which he disguises by strategically stationing stools, empty shelves, other aides around the house that allow him to move and rest while appearing quite organically to lounge in these locations. Something is approaching them that they must prepare for. He and Fang Duobing do not speak about it, but they both know. The same way animals can sense winter and begin to dig.But Di Feisheng knows he loved to fly. At the height of their rivalry he would challenge Di Feisheng in the air over the western rivers, skimming up great sprays of froth and twirling as if touched by the heavens to move, in the organic and unpredictable patterns of the clouds. Di Feisheng can be sure of this also because he himself loves flying. And he loves, now, to hold Li Xiangyi and leap into the open air, glancing off the pointed tops of soldier pines, catching a stray bit of his long hair in his mouth, watching closely as Li Xiangyi closes his eyes and allows his face to relax.He still looks shockingly young. Especially, Di Feisheng thinks, when he smiles.In the air Li Xiangyi is radiant. It is close to dusk and everything is fading peach and lavender with the oncoming sunset. His white cloak is numinous. His face is less drawn.Traveling alongside each other feels like stolen time, so much so that Di Feisheng always regrets the return to ground, the look on Li Xiangyi’s face when he leans heavily on Di Feisheng’s steadying arm. But he regrets this only because Li Xiangyi regrets it. Today when they land the earth is porous, uncertain; Di Feisheng is worried Li Xiangyi will stumble and feel ashamed, so on impulse he pulls him very close.“A’Fei!” Li Xiangyi says. He seems honestly shocked. He laughs and struggles.“You don't need–”“No,” Di Feisheng agrees, and it is no effort at all to walk with him tucked against his side towards their destination. Li Xiangyi sighs in affront.“So clingy,” he says.“For you only,” Di Feisheng says, lost in the glinting halo of Li Xiangyi’s hair, and immediately regrets it. It is so embarrassingly tender that he finds himself gritting his teeth in humiliation as Li Xianyi honks a horrified laugh and slaps his shoulder.“Did you bring me here to kill me? Should I be afraid? Who has stolen A’Fei and replaced him with this poetic youth–”“Enough,” Di Feisheng says, face burning.Li Xiangyi relents, cackling, even if he fakes a stumble so he can put his hand on Di Feishengs waist. Di Feisheng glances down just long enough to see his clever fingers at his belt, and then focuses on the point of this whole exercise: the pond. He found it a week ago, during one of his solo excursions. Necessary when living in the pockets of two people who ask questions and then when he answers, ask even more questions.“Sit here,” Di Feisheng says, brusquely. It's a large rock near a jumble of them. The pond is fed by a small stream and is impossibly deep. The center is unmeasurable and so dark the water goes black as the pupil of an eye.He helps Li Xiangyi sit and then unstraps his dao.“What are you doing?”“Hunting for dinner,” Di Feisheng says. “Someone has to.” He then takes off his outer robe.“You're going to swim?”“No sense adding to the laundry,” Di Feisheng says, pulling off his thin inner shirt. He then bends and pulls off his trousers as well. Li Xiangyi watches him.“You’re putting me through my paces today,” Li Xiangyi says, when he straightens up.“You've seen it all,” Di Feisheng says. He shakes out his hair, and Li Xiangyi uses this moment to shift on the rock.“Not like this.”They have coupled a handful of times. Li Xiangyi is often too present, cold at one moment and then desperately, luxuriously open before snapping shut once he's found release, watching Di Feisheng with rapt and composed attention as he follows.He's not looking now so much as stealing pieces of him, hungry expression barely hidden.Di Feisheng touches the scar on his chest and like a magnet, it draws Li Xiangyi’s eyes upwards.“Sentimental,” Li Xiangyi says.Di Feisheng takes a moment to parse his tone, and then wades into the water.“Stay there,” he says.He dives very deep.When he surfaces again, Li Xiangyi is gone.Di Feisheng feels a spike of panic, the same hand that closes over his throat every time he wakes to an empty bed. It is deeply humiliating, and so Di Feisheng is relieved and embarrassed by his relief when Li Xiangyi reappears, somewhat harried, from behind the rock.“Come get my fucking hair–” he says.Di Feisheng wipes water from his eyes and sees that Li Xiangyi is out of his outer robes and trying to wrestle with his bun. He's piled his clothes up and was bending to set his boots together.Li Xiangyi looks pissed, like he always does when something dismantles his plans before they can be cunningly let loose, things like the weather, Fang Duobing coming home early, sudden onset migraines, imperial pardons, the thin pins he insists on using for flyaways.His face is so–Di Feisheng barks out a laugh.“What are you doing?”“I want to swim,” Li Xiangyi says, slightly less frustrated.“It's cold,”’ Di Feisheng warns.“It's good for me,” Li Xiangyi says.Li Xiangyi doesn't like to be naked around him much. This is fine: Di Feisheng is used to nudity in the way he can be used to anything from five spice in milk pudding to being flogged. He doesn't begrudge the secrets of the flesh in anyone. Sometimes, though, the old him will bleed through. He will pull off his robes uncaring, and let Di Feisheng run his hands over his body and kiss him wherever without squirming. A gift.Now is one of those times, it seems. Brave in the afternoon light, pale stomach hollowed out and ghostly.Di Feisheng clears his throat, watching Li Xiangyi's skinny form stomp in the rushes as he fights with his guan.“Fine. Come closer and I'll help you.”They spend the waning hour paddling around and catching frogs. Li Xiangyi is unerringly good at identifying them in the big leafed clumps where they shelter and croak.Hair slick and bodies wet they look, he thinks, a pair. This pleases him. Li Xiangyi keeps pushing his hair from his eyes and shaking his head. Mostly to splash Di Feisheng with the droplets. He pulls Di Feisheng’s hair under the water and winds their ends together in the weightless space between them, clenching his fist in the dark, oil-slick looking tangle just to feel it slip through his fingers.Di Feisheng tilts his head slightly to let him play.At one point he sinks so only his eyes are visible. A sleek little crocodile who smiles at Di Feisheng. He can see it in his eyes even with his mouth distended underwater.Di Feisheng dives for fish and fails, but looks up to see Li Xiangyi's white long-toed feet paddling above him in the fractured blue. Both moving and still.He meant to get a bushel of crayfish or at least a turtle. They catch–he catches, no neili, Li Xiangyi earnestly whispering to your left A’fei!--three bullfrogs that can't really be called supper.“I've eaten worse,” Di Feisheng says.“Depressing,” Li Xiangyi says. “You really lived like a dog.”Di Feisheng turns on him, annoyed. He’s obviously about to bring up his cooking, and Li Xiangyi snorts out a laugh, reading it in his face.“Fine, fine,” he says, palms up, placating, “Not a dog. A criminal, maybe–”Di Feisheng executes a neat dive and catches Li Xiangyi’s ankle on the way down, dunking him ruthlessly.“You know,” Li Xiangyi says, after they’ve surfaced, gasping and shoving their way to a damp detente, “You’ve changed quite a bit, Lord Di.”“How so?”Li Xiangyi cocks his head, knocking water from one ear, a strange smile warping his mouth.“There was a time when you would have dropped me into a healing spring fully-dressed, regardless of how I felt about it.”Di Feisheng shrugs.“It’s not a healing spring,” Di Feisheng says.“Ah, so you have finally given up on me,” Li Xiangyi says, light, and this is another thing he didn’t expect, when the flower did its meagre work and no more. Di Feisheng wonders if Qiao Wanmian feels the way he does when Li Xiangyi pokes at a tender point and responding with violence is out of the question. Fang Duobing can take it because he can imagine an unreal future, but Di Feisheng prides himself in practicality.However–and this has always been the case—when it comes to Li Xiangyi, his instincts fail. In the black sand deserts to the east of the known kingdom, a compass will become unusable and spin in circles. He has seen this phenomenon himself and survived it as a child, but now when Li Xiangyi mentions his impending death, and a world that will continue without him, he feels small and angry again.“It’s not magic,” he says, woodenly, “It has nourishing algae.”Li Xiangyi looks at him, with all the brightness and intensity he’s always had. There’s nothing missing. It doesn’t make sense.“I’m sorry,” Xiangyi says, abruptly.Di Feisheng is not sure what his own face is doing, but in a moment the understanding they have always had returns. Painfully easy. He looks away.“You’re right,” he says. “Three isn’t enough for three grown men.”“We could catch another two, at least,” Li Xiangyi says, and they both move away from it, without speaking, towards each other, to the center of the pool right over the blackest part of the eye.###Li Xiangyi takes his hand on the pretense of assisting him to the shore and does not let go, so they land on the rocks together, wet skin and the green smell of spring water.Di Feisheng plays along and uses his inner power to carefully dry the little pink webbing between Li Xiangyi’s fingers, moving his hand in small waving motions. It’s like coaxing out spirits; qi dries water into a mist that you can barely see, glitter for just a moment.They sit for a while like that, Li Xiangyi looking away from where their hands touch and at the darkening sky. It’s not too cold at night, but Di Feisheng pushes a little qi through his hand anyway because he forgot his muff. One of the dainty items Fang Duobing had made when Xiangyi had disappeared and no one could stop him from pouring his benevolence and affection into the future.Soon they will have to go back. They did catch a few more frogs, and a fat fish that Fang Duobing will probably complain about and this noise will get them through dinner. Then the next day Di Feisheng will break and do the laundry because he will see Li Xiangyi laying out back behind the tower, drenched in the sun. He will get closer and realize Li Xiangyi is asleep, and he will watch his face until the other man cracks a slow eye open and says, got you.At the pond Di Feisheng looks at Li Xiangyi and pretends that in the dark, the other man can’t tell. Li Xiangyi leans on him, sighing.“I was hoping there would be fireflies,” he confides.“It's too late in the season,” Di Feisheng says. “Don't be foolish.”

He’s been careless or at least not as wary as he should have been. Di Feisheng knows the reason why: His mind has been elsewhere these last few months, the search for Li Lianhua taking precedence over everything else.Whether it is Asura grass or something similar, Di Feisheng can’t tell, not beyond the fact that once again he cannot use Beifang Baiyang. Nor does he know how it has been administered. That, however, is of little consequence. Because if he can’t deal with the five armed men facing him, he’ll be dead and it won’t matter.Yet if they’d wanted him dead, why drug him?He draws his sword, the weight of it solid and dependable in his hand. He might not be able to draw on his inner power for this fight, but he is far from defenceless.The men circle him, their swords drawn. They nod to each other, then three of them rush at him.He kicks one of them away, while using the hilt of his sword to smash another in the face.The third keeps his sword low, trying to catch Di Feisheng’s legs. He misses, as the one who was kicked away collides with him.It’s not how you rush attack if you’re trying to kill your opponent in the shortest possible time. No, they want him taken alive. Which is...worrying. There’s no one to ransom him back to. He doubts they’d consider Wuyan or Fang Duobing people who’d pay for his safe return. They are unlikely to have heard of Wuyan. Seeking information as he does, he is used to keeping a very low profile. Nor would most people think of Duobing as someone close to him.  Did they hope that attacking him like this would draw Li Lianhua out of hiding?If he’d thought drugging himself and pretending to be kidnapped held any chance of drawing Li Lianhua out, he would have arranged for it himself by now. He’d have done a better job of it too.Annoyed now, rather than feeling in any danger, Di Feisheng brings his sword round to catch the fourth would-be attacker across the chest. Really, who had sent these unskilled fools to fight him?He'd expected reprisals from those loyal to Jiao Liqiao or even Shan Gudao, and in those first couple of weeks afterwards he’d been ruthless in putting down anyone who was even vaguely suspect. Then Li Lianhua had vanished, having given away his chance to live to an emperor who Di Feisheng barely acknowledges.  Li Lianhua had disappeared and, whether he knew it or not, he had taken Di Feisheng’s hopes and dreams for the future with him.The first man he’d kicked to the ground gets up, and with one of them who’d held back before, they make their next attacks. Again he beats them back.Three more men appear at the edge of the clearing, swords drawn, eyes hard, ready for their turn at combat.It’s not quite fear that twists in Di Feisheng’s chest, but there’s apprehension now, the doubt that he can fight them all off growing.  Captured, caged, humiliated, now hold a more pressing worry than death, given how they've drugged him.These first five fools were meant to tire him out.Di Feisheng tightens his grip on his sword. He has to end it quickly, before more come, before he tires enough that his strikes become just that bit too slow.He fends them off again, most of them at least, but there are too many now.A heavy blow to his ankle, a kick with neili channelled into it, trips him. Pain flares white hot through it, broken or very badly bruised, Di Feisheng doesn’t know, but it refuses to hold him.Stumbling, he goes to his knees. Sword, still in hand, he slashes out at them, catching one across the calf, driving those in front of him back.All the same it’s a poor position to fight from, and he has no defence against the two kicks that follow, first to his ribs and second stamping down his back. He coughs, blood spilling over his lips. He curls in on himself, instinct taking over as pain flares. It’s all too reminiscent of times when he’d been too young, too weak, to defend himself.The sword is pried from his hand, his fingers wrenched back until he releases it.  There is no respite, no chance to fight back, as his head pulled up, a rough hand gripping his hair tight. Although it’s impossible, Di Feisheng half expects to hear Jiao Liqiao’s laughter mocking him.There is no laughter, rather a flask forced against his lips.  He doubts whatever is in it will do him any good, but he can’t fight it. They have the ability to call on their inner energy, while his is still blocked.Hands grip his jaw, digging in, forcing his mouth open, and he coughs as it's poured in. Half choking on the bitterness of it, Di Feisheng struggles, spitting blood and whatever they are forcing him to drink over his captor’s hands.A fist strikes the side of his head, and stars explode inside his skull. Dizzy, he barely sees that the hand is caught before it deals a second blow. The harsh voice of the man with the flask says, “He doesn’t get to die yet. Not until...”Di Feisheng doesn’t catch the rest, his ears are ringing, vision going blurry, as the muffled, foggy feeling in his head builds. Finally, as it covers everything, he passes out..Di Feisheng wakes to darkness, a cold stone floor beneath his cheek and his ability to use Beifang Baiyang still blocked.Lying still, he knows better than to alert his captors, he assesses his surroundings. He is alone, and apart from being locked in the cell, unrestrained. His sword is gone. He has been striped down to just the inner layer of his clothes. His boots, hair pin and even the whistle he keeps around his neck to call Wuyan to him are also gone. None of this surprises him, they’d be fools not to.The cell is small, and with the exception of a small amount of straw on the floor, completely devoid of any comfort. The only light is from a lamp outside the cell, visible through the metal bars of the door, and from the moonlight streaming down through the high, barred window.It bears no resemblance to the cell that Jiao Liqiao had tormented him in, nor is it particularly like those below the Di Fortress. The feeling of being trapped, of being powerless to prevent whatever they will do to him, is uncomfortably similar.Breathing slow and steady, controlling one of the few things left within his power, Di Feisheng carefully sits up. The deep ache in his ribs and back from where he was kicked makes itself known as soon as he moves. Bruised, he decides, when he feels no tell tale creak of broken bone as he breathes. It hurts, but it will heal.Assuming he is allowed to live long enough for that to happen. The lack of food or water in the cell makes him doubt they plan to keep him alive for long. Unless its absence is a bargaining tool. He tells them what they want to know and in exchange he can eat and drink.If that is their plan, Di Feisheng decides, all he needs to do is buy himself enough time to recover and make his escape. Because it is down to him to do it. He is on his own. No one is coming to rescue him. Only Li Lianhua ever had, and he is gone, vanished, and by now probably-He pushes down that final bleak thought. Months have passed since they should have met on the beach, late winter passing through spring and into early summer. The regretful words of Li Lianhua's last letter to the world haunt him still.With no sounds from the corridor, Di Feisheng decides it’s time to inspect the cell further.  His ankle protests as he stands, but he decides to push through it. Keeping one hand against the wall, he limps a few steps towards the door, hoping to get a better idea of where he is and who has dared to catch him like this. What makes the next step too much, he has no idea, but his ankle suddenly buckles beneath him, dropping him back to the floor.Winded by the sudden fall, it takes longer than Di Feisheng would like to get his breathing back under control and the pain he’s still in, hidden from view. There’s no sense in standing again, but he refuses to lay there like something discarded and broken.  Dragging himself to the side of the cell, he slumps with his back against the wall, the chill of the bare, damp stonework seeping in.Shivering slightly, Di Feisheng looks up at the narrow, barred window, and the moon that hangs in the starlit sky beyond. Near full, it shines down bathing everything it touches in soft, silvered light.Was Li Lianhua still alive and looking up at the same night sky?  Could he even still see it?The light shimmers, taking on a watery quality, and he blinks until it clears.He’d first met Li Xiangyi by moonlight. Not the soft brilliance that can be seen tonight, but moonlight all the same. It had been the barest crescent, a frosted sliver over a frozen lake, sharp and glittering, like a sword hanging overhead. They’d been so young that night, Li Xiangyi barely having ventured down from his master’s mountain into the world. Not that his skills had been lacking, far from it.He had been an equal in everything. If he’d had the skill, but had been a spoiled young master of a rich family, Di Feisheng knows he’d have never held his interest. But Li Xiangyi had come from nothing too. They were a matched pair, making their own future and taking their place in the martial world based on nothing but their skill and will to survive. Yes, Xiangyi had been a child taken from the streets as he had, but for him there had been no brutal master, no constant threat of death. For him there had been a home, and a master and an older brother who he adored.A moth as white as the moon itself flutters in and out of the bars of the window. The movement, as slight as it is, breaks Di Feisheng out of his memories.He’d barely known what those feelings were back then. What did he know of love when no one had shown him a moment's tenderness in his life?  You had to fight for what you wanted, to conquer it, to make it yours and to stop others taking it away.His mind drifts to waking in the Lotus Tower, his memories gone, only fragments of old nightmares remaining. The touch of Li Lianhua’s fingers on his wrist. Firm, but not in a way that was meant to hurt, rather to anchor him to safety, stopping him from drifting into the darkest places in the back of his mind.It hadn’t been the only night he’d woken like that, nightmares wrapped tight about him. Nor had it been the only night that Li Lianhua had been at his bedside or had let him sleep in his bed, so that he could finally rest.He’d never slept so well as on those nights.Di Feisheng swallows, throat somehow both sticky and dry, as the sudden lump in refuses to subside.Had Li Lianhua known what kind of half realised feelings he’d had for him? Had he welcomed it? Or was his lack of action proof of rejection?  Did it even matter now? After all, wasn’t Li Lianhua gone from the world?The moonlight blurs once again.There is only one moon, in the same way there is only one Li Lianhua. It might change its appearance or even become hidden from sight, but it was always there. Li Lianhua had been his white moonlight, he still was.  Beautiful, changeable, perfect no matter his appearance. Whether it was Li Xiangyi at the peak of his power, sword catching the shimmering starlight as danced on the roof tops. Or Li Lianhua, tired, but smiling, finding contentment despite everything, as they sat together, the moon their companion once more.Both nights feel so far away, as impossible to touch as the moon itself.Tears fall before he can stop them. They have come more and more often as time has passed and the likelihood of finding Li Lianhua dwindles to almost nothing.Perhaps it had been the thing Master Di had put in his head that had held them back all these years or perhaps he’d never had anything that it hurt to lose. Whatever the cause, these last few months he’s cried more than he remembers ever having done, even as a child. He hates it, the powerlessness of it, of how weak it makes him feel to give in to his fears.There are no witnesses to it now and he lets them fall unchecked.Hollowed out from grief and pain, Di Feisheng drifts in a haze. Finally, as the moon sinks down out of sight, the cold and damp of the room numbs him enough to allow him to fall into an exhausted sleep..Di Feisheng wakes to harsh sunlight and the sudden shock of a bucket of water cold being thrown over him.Dizzy, aching all over now, rather than only in the places that have been injured, he can barely choke back a pained cry as he is roughly dragged to his feet.  He struggles, trying to break free. It’s automatic, but in his weakened state it is of little use. They let him continue for a moment, then suddenly release him, so he falls to the floor.They stand over him, harsh laughter mocking him.“Is this really the one who ended Master Di?” One of them prods Di Feisheng with his foot. “He’s pathetic.”Pulled to his feet again, he’s half walked, half dragged between two men. Along a corridor, up a few steps and then outside. The hot, dusty courtyard is frighteningly similar to the Di Fortress, and Di Feisheng’s stomach lurches, the dizziness and disorientation growing worse. He’d been free. He’d freed himself. He’d finally taken revenge. He’d ended it. Why wasn’t it over? Why was it never over?Now that he is outside, a rough rope is bound around his wrists, but they don’t bother with any other restraints.After a few more steps, Di Feisheng is pushed to his knees in front of a man in richly embroidered red and black clothes.Somewhat past middle age, his dark hair streaked with grey, he wears the expression of cold arrogance of one born into a life of privilege. While Di Feisheng doesn’t recognise him, he knows the type. Power hungry, but lacking in talent, they are only powerful because they can buy or buy off those around him.“Di Feisheng.” The man walks around him, tapping a folded fan in his hands, as if he’s inspecting something he has bought. “I really had expected something more.” He puts the end of this fan under Di Feisheng’s chin, trying to force him to look up.Moving his head to one side, Di Feisheng refuses to comply. Maybe it’ll annoy him, but it isn’t like he’d had good intentions in the first place. The move with the fan is repeated and again he moves to the side.Losing patience the man slaps him across the cheek with the closed fan instead. “You were nothing but a weapon to be bought and sold. Property to be used and disposed of as your owner saw fit.” Dropping the fan, he grabs Di Feisheng’s hair, pulling his head back so he can look at him. “You dare to think you’re a hero?”Di Feisheng closes his eyes and doesn’t answer. He knows how this goes. Whatever he says the result will be the same. There is no right answer, only pain. The only victory will be keeping silent no matter what they do.“You're nothing. Just a mad dog that turned on its master.” The man nods to one of the men who’d dragged him up from the cell. “Show him what we do to mad dogs. Make an example of him. Let all those here know what happens to those who rebel.”His hair is released and Di Feisheng is dragged to his feet once more.  Only a few steps this time, then his bound wrists are lifted above his head, the rope hooked onto a wooden post.Dizzy, sweat sticking his hair to his face, Di Feisheng leans his head against the rough timber. He knows what will come next. They'll beat him like the dog they say he is. Maybe he’ll survive. Maybe he’s not meant to. All he can do is endure.He tenses, waiting for the pain to begin. He wishes he could hold still, but between the drug blocking his use of Beifang Baiyang, the injuries already received and the night in a cold, damp cell, he can feel the sickly heat of fever beginning to burn. He shivers, hating that they might think it’s fear.

It’s not the chain whip used by Master Di for such punishments, but pain when it strikes his back, the raw welts it raises on his skin, is no different. His mind swims for a moment, past and present blurring into one, before it sinks down, seeking the empty, dark, quiet that is his only refuge.A cry of pain.Not his own, Di Feisheng realises now that the blows that rained down on his back have stopped. The men around him in this unknown fortress shout about an attack, to bring arrows, to stop...Vision blurring, sweat dripping into his eyes, his unbound hair hanging across them like a curtain, it’s hard to see what is going on.Was it Wuyan? Had he realised what had happened and brought those who’d remained in the Jinyuan Alliance?No, the shouts suggest a single attacker.Who?Moving hurts, but Di Feisheng turns his head trying to see.A single, white clothed figure, a veiled hat obscuring their face, cuts down those in front of him. Precise, deadly, each move a killing strike, as he wastes no energy in his attack.The lightness of their steps, like they are carried on the air, sword moving like lightning in a summer storm. It cannot be, yet there is only one who comes to his mind; Li Xiangyi. In these last few months he’s dreamt of him, good dreams and bad. It was the good ones that hurt the most in the end, when he had to wake to a world where Li Xiangyi and Li Lianhua are both gone.There is chaos and shouting all around him, but Di Feisheng can feel his hold on consciousness slipping, the world turning grey and muffled.Slumping against the post, he doesn’t know when the figure in white reaches him, or what it is they say as they cut the rope holding him.  All he knows is that he falls into their arms, which are waiting to catch him.  He’s held up, held against them.More words, but he can’t concentrate on them at all. Then the air is racing past them as they rise into the air. The dizziness intensifies, Di Feisheng’s fragile hold on consciousness slips and then fails as everything spirals away..Wavering in and out of consciousness, Di Feisheng is only aware of fleeting fragments of what is happening  One moment he is on horseback, slumped forward, hands holding the shaggy mane, then he’s falling again. Falling and falling.  Above him Li Lianhua’s face blurs behind the veil.  The lantern over the bed is too bright, and his back burns and burns and burns. Cold hands and bitter medicine. An arm around him holding him, feeding him water. A hand holding his, a familiar anchor in the sea of fever-driven nightmares, preventing him from being lost to them and bringing him safely back to shore.Finally, Di Feisheng wakes. His body aches, but the fever is all but gone and his thoughts are clear.Laying on his side in bed to relieve any pressure on his back, he looks around. The bed is on a simple raised platform in a single room wooden dwelling. A lantern hangs from the beam, burning low, its light matching the moon outside in its intensity.There is no sense of imminent danger, so he directs his focus inward. His ability to use Beifang Baiyang is still limited, but it’s slowly returning. A few more days and he’ll have full use of it again.Turning his attention back to his surroundings, Di Feisheng looks at the white veiled hat hanging by the door. Below it, his own sword is propped against the wall.It had to have been Li Lianhua. Who else would think of this for him? The rescue and care he’s received definitely isn’t imaginary. Yet what if it had been someone else? Or what if he was satisfied that Di Feisheng was going to be alright now, so he had fled, disappearing into the vastness of the world once more.Pushing away such thoughts, he sits up. The bandages on his back make it stiff, awkward manoeuvrer, but they are tight enough it keeps him from tearing the scabs and newly healed skin. Leaning forward, he braces his hands against his knees, waiting for the dizziness that comes from sitting up after a long time laying down to pass. He knows how this goes. This had been his life for months after the East Sea battle.He looks at the veiled hat again. If Li Lianhua had left, why had he not taken his disguise with him? Perhaps he is only outside, sitting as he used to do outside the Lotus Tower, drinking tea or wine under the moon.It feels too perfect. The fear that perhaps he is still dreaming presses in. What if this is all in his head? Whether it is or not, he has to know.The pain in his ankle increases as he puts weight on it, but not to the level it had been. He looks at where it is wrapped tight with bandages, thin strips of wood bound within the cloth to prevent it from moving. Broken then or maybe dislocated. No wonder he’d been unable to stand. If he’s careful, he decides, he can manage it now. Because if he doesn’t try, if he loses this chance...Out of bed, dressed in just trousers and the bandages, Di Feisheng limps the few steps to where his sword leans against the wall. There’s something reassuring about it being in his hand once more, even if for the moment it’s relegated to being used as a walking stick.Moving is uncomfortable, but definitely better than it had been, so he makes his way outside.The small house is surrounded by woodland, mountains peaks showing behind them, their heights frosted despite the warm summer night. The moon, just past full, waning once more hangs overhead in a clear sky.Four or five nights since the one in the cell, Di Feisheng decides, before making his way to the table and chairs that are in front of the house. Three chairs.There is no time to consider why, as he sees a flash of white, moving at the edge of the clearing. He turns to look, the sight taking his breath away.Dressed in white, a light, thin sword in his hand, Li Lianhua moves swiftly as he practices. His hair, more silver now than black, catches both the moonlight and evening breeze.Li Lianhua halts mid move, seeming to realise he’s being watched. Turning toward Di Feisheng he frowns, eyes narrowing as he tries to see who is there. Then, when he is unable to, he approaches, finally stopping just a few steps in front of him.Relief is tinged with fear as Di Feisheng sees him up close. He looks too pale and sickly still, the white clothes and silvered hair seeming to leech any remaining colour out of him.“What are you doing out of bed?” Li Lianhua says, the annoyance in his voice contrasting with the concern on his face. He looks at the sword Di Feisheng is leaning on. “Absolutely not. No fighting.”There is no thought of fighting him, not tonight. There is nothing but the utter relief that Li Lianhua hadn’t been a figment of his pain and fever-addled imagination. All he can do is stare at him. There are so many ways that he has imagined this reunion occurring, so many things that he’d thought to say, but right now no words will come out.After a moment, Li Lianhua clicks his fingers at him, “Stop staring at me. You’ve not lost your memory again, have you?”Di Feisheng briefly considers lying to him, but he wants no more secrets between them. He shakes his head.Sighing, Li Lianhua takes hold of his arm. “Come on, sit down, before you fall down.”Di Feisheng doesn’t argue as he’s helped back to the table, grateful to take the pressure off his ankle. He lets Li Lianhua fuss with the wine and cups that have been left out, pouring for them both.Finally, unable to think of anything better to say, he asks, “How?”“Did I find you? Well, I was...” Li Lianhua halts as Di Feisheng glares at him,“You know what I mean.” Because as much as he’d like to know that too, it’s not the question he wants answering.“I didn’t plan it,” Li Lianhua replies, resigned rather than enthusiastic. “Lu Jianchi and Jin Youdao found me. They didn’t know-”The words are sour on his tongue, but Di Feisheng interrupts to say them anyway, “That you planned to die.”A sharp intake of breath is followed by a pained little smile, before Li Lianhua says, “So cruel, Lao Di.”“Honest.” It’s probably a terrible idea to drink wine right now, but Di Feisheng doesn’t want to lose this moment together by suggesting tea might do them more good. “Why did you let them help you?” Why didn’t you let me? remains unspoken.“I didn’t ask them to do it.” He fidgets with his cup, not looking up. “I was unconscious.  They'd found something in the course of looking for something to help Jin Youdao, and it worked.” He gulps his drink, hand shaking slightly.  “It worked.”“Then why stay hidden?” Di Feisheng refills his cup. It’s that or he reaching over the table and shaking him. “We searched for you.”“I know.” Li Lianhua's voice remains steady, but the surface of his wine ripples, a tear disrupting the stillness.“If you know, then why?”“What do you want me to say?” Li Lianhua looks up. Eyes, red and teary. "That yes, I can fight, but everything more than an arm’s length in front of me is a blur? I’ll probably never be more than 20% of what I was, and even then I’ll pay for it the next day.” His voice catches, but he presses on. “Or I’m still trying to work out which foods don’t make me feel like I’m dying inside.” He crosses his arms across his chest. “Do you think I wanted you to see this? For anyone to?”Di Feisheng knows showing any kind of vulnerability is terrifying, but what he says is, “No, but we rarely get what we want. It doesn’t mean you should give up.”Weary, Li Lianhua slumps in his chair. “And what do you want, Lao Di? What use am I to you now?”“Use?” Di Feisheng says, taking Li Lianhua’s hands in his. He trusts that he isn’t about to make a run for it now. Mostly at least. “Do you think the only reason I wanted you to live was so I could kill you myself.”Li Lianhua doesn’t answer. Perhaps they both believed this once, but it’s clear that that time has passed.Action has always come easier to Di Feisheng than words, and explaining what he feels seems impossible. It’s a terrible plan, but maybe he can blame it on only just having woken from an experience that will leave him with new scars and nightmares.Leaning in, he kisses Li Lianhua. The angle is awkward, it makes his back ache and he can taste salt along with the wine on his lips, but he has never wanted anything more.There is no rejection, only a small, half startled, half indignant noise, from Li Lianhua before he kisses him back.Under the soft moonlight, they move closer, leaning into each other for support, finding the comfort that they both need and so often have been without.All the regrets and missed chances can remain in the past, Di Feisheng tries not to dwell on such things. There will still be hard days ahead, he knows neither of them have any illusions about how their lives are, but now they can face them together.